You Already Breathe, You’re Just Doing It Wrong - Emotional Resilience in Property Management

We explore how breathwork and NLP help property managers and business owners regulate stress, reframe triggers, and build real confidence that shows up in client service and team culture. Practical steps, honest talk on accountability, and simple ways to reset your system during a chaotic day.

• what NLP is and how it rewires unhelpful patterns
• breathwork as a science-based tool for nervous system regulation
• why stress hits property managers harder and how to respond
• the difference between reaction and release in sessions
• confidence as a byproduct of a calm nervous system
• the wheel of life to spot hidden stressors at home and work
• the role of fun, hobbies, and changing routines for resilience
• movement, music, and micro-resets to shift state fast
• seeking honest mentors over comfort and coddling
• leadership behaviors that shape team wellbeing and performance
• how to try breathwork privately or in groups without oversharing

Go reach out and give them a follow and see what it’s all about. Any questions, reach out to her or me and keep an eye out for any retreats that we’ve got because they will be a great experience for you to come along and do that in a beautiful setting with other property managers

PM COLLECTIVE - GUIDE AND SHAPE AN ENJOYABLE FUTURE

We believe in making industry-leading education and support accessible to everyone. Our community is packed with free resources, expert insights, and innovative training designed to help business owners, property managers, and BDMs thrive.

This podcast is sponsored by Property Assist.

Business owners are building their rental portfolios faster than ever and Property Managers can’t possibly do it all!

Keep your property managers doing what they love and outsource the things they don’t to a company that thrives on positive feedback and guarantees a premium personalised service

www.propertyassistwa.com.au

This podcast is kindly sponsored by The Grout Guy. 

The team at The Grout Guy are the leading experts in regrouting, waterproofing, and tiling services nationwide. Property managers find comfort in their 10-year waterproof warranty on all full shower regrouts.

Visit thegroutguy.com.au to rejuvenate your properties tiles and grout now!

Chapters

• 1:06 Meet Alyssa And Her Work
• 1:37 NLP Explained In Plain English
• 3:10 Breathwork Meets Science And Stereotypes
• 3:40 Why This Matters In Real Estate
• 7:42 Triggers, Trauma, And The Nervous System
• 12:31 What Breathwork Sessions Actually Do
• 17:40 Outcomes Vary: Releases, Colors, And Insight
• 21:46 Confidence, Accountability, And Asking For Help
• 27:40 The Wheel Of Life And Hidden Stressors
• 32:18 Fun, Hobbies, And Breaking Routine
• 37:28 Shift Your State: Movement And Music

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:35

Okay, so today we are joined with a lovely lady that I have had the pleasure of meeting sort of in the recent months, and her name is Alyssa. Alyssa, welcome. Hi, thank you for having me. Um, now tell us a little bit, or tell the audience a little bit about you and what you currently do to help people in the community.

SPEAKER_00: 0:58

Sure. So I am a neurolinguistic mentor, programming mentor as well as a breathwork facilitator. And amongst all that, so breaking that down because a lot of people haven't heard of NLP before. So NLP is neuro issue with the brain. Linguistics is the language that we speak and the internal dialogue that we tell ourselves as well. And programming is the programs that we've been programmed with from either childhood, growing up, from society. So utilizing NLP that allows myself to support others in rewiring those unconscious patterns and those neural pathways to create a more positive or a different perspective and also allowing us to clear up those limiting beliefs that often hold people back, like not feeling worthy enough and not feeling good enough, and all those repressed emotions. So then that also goes hand in hand with breathwork, which we have beautifully abirthed this year, and it's been an incredible journey so far. I think we locked 150 clients in five months. We've just hit five months. So that to us is huge because breathwork, and we've seen it before that breathwork can be quite stereotypical. And people obviously see the videos on social media of huge cathartic releases, and people can get a bit scared of the unknown or fearful of I don't want to be seen vulnerable amongst other people. So we incorporate breathwork with NLP, a little bit of quantum healing as well, because of course I've done all the things and we match it all together, and that's how I support people within our community and my clients, and that's through mindset work, that's through nervous system regulation, and breath work in itself is science-based. So of course, we breathe to live. However, there's 30% of people that actually over-breathe, which keeps them in a fight or flight state all the time. So there's lots that we do amongst all the modalities that I utilize, and I um support people in that way.

SPEAKER_01: 2:55

Amazing. Now there are so many things that I want to break down, and you and I are doing some work together sort of over the next 12 months. So I'll be careful not to sort of repeat what we're going to be doing in the in the future. But I I guess the first thing and the reason why this is relevant to people in property management and real estate is what I've noticed is that there are some people who property managers who find their role very stressful, and then there's other people that breeze through it. Same with business owners. Some business owners really find it a real roller coaster, and some people find it easy. And so for me, I always am fascinated by the human psychology behind people's performance. And my members have done previous work with people where it is having a look at sort of your subconscious and different areas of your life to explain why you might react in certain ways. So, you know, when we're dealing with tenants or owners, we might find that we're very reactive or we take it all and absorb all that energy ourselves, and therefore we're feeling, you know, really uh by the end, I don't want to use the word burnout with you because I know we've had a conversation about burnout, but um, I make sense of it strained. So that's sort of where it is relevant for property managers and business owners to do this type of work to really reflect on how they work, how they deal with clients to make sure that they're in the best possible position personally, you know, and and being healthy with their mind so that they can deliver the best possible service to their clients. And that's why it's relevant because some people will be going, why will it actually, you know, you know, talk about breath work on a podcast or you know, talk about this on a podcast? It's because we're not being curious enough in regards to different types of options that are available to us, and that's what I want people to get from today. Now, to give you an example, I I mean, I have done breath work. I have never met anyone that has done breath work and not seen some benefit from it. So that's my first thought, and we'll get into that in a second. The other thing is though, that I find myself quite curious. So I recently did a kinesiology session. Now, I wouldn't have done kinesiology unless it was part of this program that I was doing, and one of the parts of the program was we had to have a session. And I really, really enjoyed it so much now that I will go, you know, and regularly have it, but I wouldn't, I wouldn't have done it. Like I if if it wasn't part of this program, and and I want people to try things because there are lots of like breath work may or may not be for you, kinesiology, you know, whatever. All those different things, yes. Correct. So you have to try it, you have to give it a go, and you have to be vulnerable. And so, yeah, that's sort of the base of today. So I do today, because you are a bit of an expert with the breath work, I want to touch on that.

SPEAKER_00: 5:53

If you can sort of talk about the science behind that breathing for people, and I also wanted to touch on how you mentioned that different people in property management deal with different scenarios or have different levels of resilience and also may get triggered over certain things that other people may not. I think what we need to remember at the end of the day, we're still dealing with human beings, like the property managers themselves are human, very much human, that have feelings that have had past experiences. We don't know that maybe something from a past experience or a childhood may have slightly ingrained in their mind, and then that sort of ripples on to how they react to something else. But also the people that use are dealing with home situations, and we had that this conversation when we met, how much realization there is. There's so many different scenarios that you walk in on or are supporting with that really opens up the eye. So at the end of the day, just because you're a property manager or you're a business owner doesn't mean that your nervous system doesn't need taken care of because you are dealing with a plethora of different situations that you're going to encounter along the way. Breath work in itself, like you mentioned, you wouldn't have tried kinesiology unless it was sort of forced upon you or like put in put in your face. And that's with breath work. A lot of people, so you've got people that are like, yep, done this, love it, always do it. And then they feel like, I already know how to breathe. That's what we get. I already know how to breathe. I don't need to learn how to breathe. And it's like, yeah, but did you know that there's X amount of people that actually are breathing way faster than they should? Do you actually ever stop to focus on your breathing? So say if you're in a stressful moment or like you've just had a bit of an encounter that's not as ideal as you'd like it to be, have you stopped and focused on, oh shit, my heart's racing, I'm breathing faster than I should be? Like, are these things that they ever taken into consideration? And I think because people are often in autopilot just doing the damn things all the time, their mindset, their breathing, all that sort of stuff goes out the window. Like you said, someone could call again after hanging up that phone, and then you're you're just moving on, the cycle keeps going, right? So with breath, like it's very much, yes, we know that you know how to breathe because you're alive, right? However, the different breath flows that we incorporate in our session allow you, your body to activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which then allows you to unlock and release within the unconscious mind. So sometimes there's things in our unconscious mind could have been a stressful moment, I don't know, 10 years ago that you actually never really faced or dealt with. You just sort of bottled it up. And that's humans do that. They bottle things up until something really minor happens and then kaboom, it's a bit of an ordeal, right? And then you feel like you're not coping, and then that feeling of drained and feelings of feeling burnt out can then stem from that. However, it's I essentially come from the fact that you haven't done the inner work that needed to happen to heal from that that topic, whatever it was that occurred. So activating the parasympathetic nervous system allows us to unlock the unconscious mind, and your body knows your unconscious mind knows what needs to come up. You may go in thinking, okay, I've had a really shitty day, it's the end of the week, I'm gonna go in for that. But then maybe a loved one that's passed 15 years ago, you never actually grieved from, and then maybe somebody that you're looking up their home, someone of theirs has passed away, and then shit, there's a cycle that's rolling out again. Like there's all these things that can come up for somebody, and it doesn't mean like breastwork, you don't have to go and be like, I need to heal. It's not always kumbaya and like let's hold hand, it's not like that at all with us at all. We very much like to hold people accountable, we like to keep it quite a firm approach, knowing that nothing great comes from staying comfortable. And if people are coming into our space, first of all, they've acknowledged that they they need to try it, try it for whatever reason it may be. But sometimes the feelings of the breath work itself can be super uncomfortable and you may want to bail. We've had people be like, I can't do it. But with the support and the techniques we utilize, it really allows people to let go and trust themselves because that's something I feel like we're lacking a lot these day and ages. Our intuition and self-trust and belief is very minimal based on the environments that we have ourselves in. Sometimes it's the workplaces, sometimes it's the relationships, the connections, social media. The environments that we have ourselves in often lead us to what's it compare with others, to not feel worthy enough. So, like we could go about this all day, but there's so much that could be going on for one person. You don't have to come thinking I need a heal from a traumatic breakup. No, you come in and just be open. That's all we ask for, is being open and allowing us to do what we do best because we're very great at being energetically in tune with what a person needs. Every session we facilitate is very much personalized as a collective we have there. So sometimes we know that some people are still very much in their head and not in their body because that's what humans do. We're always overthinking and stressing and worrying about the next thing. So there's different things that we do to support them through that. And we get you to come in, just be open and let the session speak for itself. Like you said, you've never met one person that hasn't had a response, uh a great react a reaction response experience, whatever it may be. And Ascender recently introduced feedback forms, which was really cool. And we've got now, like, I don't know, 60 or 70 of them that have all these cool words that have described their experience and how it's then transformed their next steps in life. And we always follow up, and I feel like it's something different or what sets us apart from everyone else. We always follow up with a follow-up message and a call to support them. Hey, what came up for you? How are you feeling a few days later? Do you need to talk it through? Because sometimes a couple of days later, you may be like, oh, that thought actually came up, but I don't know what to do with it or I don't know how to move with that. There's so much more to Ascender than just breath work, and hence why we have the wellness component in there and the mindset and mentoring, because again, we're human beings, we're not human doings, right? We need to be sometimes and allow ourselves to feel. And it's the same with self-care. People think of self-care like, oh, let's go get a manicure or let's go get a massage. Yes, they those things are very much a self-care practice. But how about sitting, listening to a podcast, or sometimes reading a page of a book, or even drinking your coffee hot uninterrupted? Like the littlest things can create a great self-care routine. And self-care, although it's there's so much fluff around it, and sometimes people think they have to spend copious amounts of money on self-care, it's essentially taking care of yourself, right? It's all in the title. Taking care of yourself. And a lot of people aren't doing that. And I guess again, it comes down to the labels that they have. You know, a lot of people are bearing jobs, wife, husbands, partners, kids, all these things that they're doing, they're getting forgotten about. Then how can we expect them to perform within their job role or within their title if they're already empty and then they're coming to work empty? So this I could talk all day about this stuff. I really it does really light me up. But essentially, breath work is breathing in different speeds in a nutshell that activates the prosympathetic nervous system and allows your unconscious mind to do what it needs to do.

SPEAKER_01: 13:29

Yeah. The I like I'll did I did a retreat in Bali about six months ago now. And so there was a group of eight of us who had a beautiful breathwork session in um Bali. And from the experience, there was probably half of us that didn't actually sort of have anything come up. However, we pretty much, I'm pretty sure we all for us, we all experience different colours.

SPEAKER_00: 13:53

Like we could just see a lot of colours come up. Shapes, patterns. So I think people go into it thinking, oh my god, I'm gonna cry. Or then if they don't cry, they're like, Am I broken? And it's like, no, neither. Like, yes, some people cry because that's their body's way of releasing. However, your body vibrating, your leg shaking, your the sounds that you might be making, or the things that you're seeing are all very different forms of release. It doesn't have to just be crying, and you're definitely not broken if you don't cry. So, again, like you mentioned, you know, you didn't have that emotional release, but you maybe your body didn't need to have that emotional release. You've got to then experience something other else, which is another step up seeing the colours, and colours are very much connected to the chakras, and also there's colour therapy and all that sort of stuff. That's a whole nother that's like you've gone from here to here real like really fast in that one space of a breath work. So it can be so different for everybody, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 14:51

And and the other thing that I experienced was that because my intention for my breath work was more connection with my body, and so during that session, I actually could feel random parts of like just I was aware of just a little bit of pain, so a bit of pain on my left hip, then I had a bit of pain sort of on my right sort of abdomen, and it just had different pain that sort of came through, not terrible pain, but I could just feel like a niggas, yeah, and I could feel connected to that, which I thought was quite interesting. And then, but some of the people in the group had life-changing experiences, and when I spoke to them about it afterwards, I said to them, like, was that on your mind? They're like, I should I hadn't actually thought about that for about 10 years, and I can't believe it came up. And one of the girls actually went and got a tattoo around this situation that that did surface, and so I think for like I think there's two different types of people in the world. I think there are people that have had what I call big T trauma and maybe are potentially scared of going into this. Then there will be people like myself who I don't consider myself to have had any trauma in my life, but there are definitely things that hold me back. And so for me, what I found was, and the word I've written down today is is confidence. Like I did find that from from having like doing work such as breath work or kinesiology or anything in that sort of same field, I find that I have like subconsciously a bit more confidence to say my truth or to just be confident, like giving you power essentially. It gives you the power. I mean, a great example is that we have, you know, I had arranged this retreat and there was breath work and all that, and I actually only sold a couple of tickets. And I was I in in in the past, I probably would have been more inclined just to let those people know, cancel it and sort of you know, push it aside and not make it like not saying anything to the public. And then I was like, well, no, I I felt confident in actually being vulnerable online and saying, no, I actually did organize a beautiful day. You guys, you know, the audience have screamed for self-care, screened that you burn out. Yet we put something on and you're not buying tickets. Like, and obviously I've said it in a in a you know nice way, not offensive way, but it's holding people accountable, it's putting it back on them.

SPEAKER_00: 17:09

Like, and this is another thing when it comes to when I'm mentoring businesses, is you're asking for support, or you say you're lacking support, yet then it's given to you, or you're not yet being exactly specific on what areas need support. So, how do we we're not mind readers, as much as I might be that in tune, I'm I'm not a mind reader all the time. We don't cry that you need support without then saying, Yep, actually I'm gonna take it, because then you're being it's being given to you, right? Support is something that is such a broad term and it could mean many different things. And for you, you created such a beautiful, beautiful experience that had great intentions behind it because you know how much the industry is lacking that support. So therefore, yeah, as much as it may have been disheartening, it's also a good realization point that people are still scared to accept that help. And I wonder sometimes, does it come down to hyper-independency too? Because if they're accepting that support, does it do they then believe that they are less than what they already are? Or like do you make sense of what I mean? Like, do they then feel like, oh, well, actually, I'm not as strong as what I believe I am because I'm taking that support when really you're probably stronger for accepting the support, knowing that there's something that needs help with and moving forward with that.

SPEAKER_01: 18:23

Yeah, absolutely. Well, I think property managers are very hyper-independent. I think they're so used to taking control of situations, being the fixer and being the problem sort of because that's what they do. But yeah, now that you say that, like when it goes back on to them.

SPEAKER_00: 18:40

It's like, oh no, it's it feels too scary. I don't know what's gonna happen. And like you said, yeah, um, people that have experienced the big T, the biggest sort of trauma, they may feel like, well, I've actually repressed that for the last 20 years. If I go into that, what if that comes up? And that's even scarier for them because then they may feel like it's a rehashing the wound when really little do they know that it's actually gonna clear that from them, and they get to move differently from that moment forward.

SPEAKER_01: 19:04

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, so like examples of situations that people can be in that I'm just gonna like throw it out there, is that there will be people out there that I believe having are struggling at work, finding themselves very overwhelmed at work, but they also have a very overwhelming marriage. And the easiest thing to do is blame work and say work, it's a work's problem because that's the easy option than having to face potentially a bad marriage. That's one example that I think does happen in the industry. I mean, it happens with that's just human. But um, I guess that's something that I think people would be scared to go because I do believe subconsciously they know.

unknown: 19:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 19:52

And it's also you can be in denial, you can choose to pretend that it doesn't exist, but then it creeps up in ways that is going to bite you in the bottom because you're like, ah, again, you're reminding me. No, let's forget about that and move forward with it. This is something that Ascender works really closely with, and it's a free resource that we have created. And we call it the wheel of life because little do people realize their whole life affects work, work affects life. And in your whole life scale or graph, there is eight components where it's your relationships, it's your health, it's your spirituality, it's your your relationships with money, it's how much fun are you having. I can guarantee you if you were to give me a room full of property managers, maybe two could say that they actually have fun in some way, shape, or form. And they can't tell me work's fun. Like that's not that's not a reason. That's not some type of fun. Like you might love your job, but also people need to remember that again, we're human beings, we crave connection, we crave fun, we crave laughter, we crave these types of fun conversations. Yet people sometimes are so stuck in their head and in their mind that they stop themselves from having fun. And I feel like when they think of fun, they're like, oh, like we're not kids, no, but how boring is life if you don't have fun, or if you don't, if you're not humorous, or if you don't get to connect with people that have similar, you know, views and stuff like that. So in our wheel of life, it's a really great scale, and I'd be more than happy to share this with you for people to then rate their different areas of life based on the first number that comes to their mind, meaning it's the number that their unconscious mind projects to them, not them self-doubting. Then they get to see it on a whole sort of scale. And they're like, shit, actually, my marriage, like you said, is only a two. Work is maybe a six, but then money, I'm doing really well with money, but I have a really shitty relationship with it, and it's only three, like all these different ranges. Then you think, okay, well, why is life or work so shit? Okay, let's have a look at it. Why does it feel stressful? Everything in your your life scale, there might be some great parts of it, but also how can we amp up the other areas to then balance out life? Although I don't completely believe in balance because we're doing so much all the time, we can amp things up and sort of like the pendulum swings, right? Go from one end to another to support our work life. Because if you're having fun and your health is great and your marriage is doing better than what it had been, you're gonna go to work feeling a bit different than what you originally did, right? But if you've got the weight of the world in your life on your shoulders and you haven't even entered work yet, then you've got to deal with maybe some shitty tenants, or maybe some tenants that have gone through things, or maybe a colleague that may be a little bit of a pain in the bottom and you don't really get on with them. Your approach is gonna be completely different to what it would be if you started focusing on your life before even stepping into the workplace.

SPEAKER_01: 22:32

Yeah, 100%. And and I I'm glad you mentioned fun, because one thing that I'm trying to sort of promote is that everyone needs to have a hobby. Everyone needs to have something that they love so that you've got your you've got your family, you've got work, and then you've got you. And if we look at hobbies, and if you ask people what their hobbies are, they they will say something really stupid, like, you know, going for a walk. It's like, no, that's not a hobby. Like, you need an actual hobby. And some of the best people that I know have hobbies, so they might be like one of my team members, she loves to play golf. I've got, I know people that love I love sport hot on two seconds. I've got another person that does you just go and do the door, that's fine. I've got another person that loves to do golf. We've got people in the industry that like doing hydroxy. I think it's hydroxy, which is a sport, and finding something that they love to do besides work can give them that relief that they need. So they maybe they run marathons or they go to F45 or whatever it is. It's I find that when they've got that, it doesn't just go from work to home, it's like there is a bit in between. There's a release in between, yeah. And they really need to do that, and that would be absolutely one thing I would have people start with. I've got a friend who um that I know of I went to school with her, she she actually does breath work, but she has um play, like a play membership, and it's a really cool idea because I think it was like$20 a month or something little, and it was basically every day she gives you five minutes of something to do that's playful, and it might be something silly like bouncing a ball, you know, on the um on the wall and catching it, or it might be dancing in the living room, but it's to release sort of all the good hormones and it's just five minutes of playing, like you're you know, um, it might be at the park or on the monkey bars or something like that with the kids. Something different, something different, and I really thought that that was really quite a cool idea because that's what we lack now, and that could be potentially the thing that's missing between people that have fun and have a you know very happy life and people that don't.

SPEAKER_00: 24:55

Like it could be just as simple as that. I also find something that I've focused on this year, which is very interesting and it's come up in this, is I always used to tell myself I don't like trying new things, right? I had this belief. It came to food, it came to certain activities, drinks, like I was just stuck to what I know. I turned 30 this year and I've done a whole heap of things that I've never done before. And I've forced myself outside, it's taking yourself outside of your comfort zone, though, which a lot of people feel uncomfortable doing, right? Hence why it's your comfort zone. And things like we've done, when I say we, I've conned people into doing it with me, of course. Two CrossFit sessions, which I've never done CrossFit in my life, and I hated sport as a kid. I bloody hated it. I used to forge notes, but I forced myself to do it as much as it felt so hard and then I was dying, I actually enjoyed it. It was great. I've done adult dance classes now. Yeah. I've been trying foods that I wouldn't normally eat, like I'm normally quite fussy, and of course I'm enjoying them. And this is again like you're saying, sometimes people with breath weight, you've never done it before. How do you know you're not gonna like it until you've tried it? Same with other things, like of finding a hobby. And you know, people I think people hear the word hobby and think it might be a little bit like lame in the sense of like, oh, a hobby, like we're not kids anymore, but also a hobby could be sitting by the beach for for half an hour in silence. It could, it doesn't have to be crocheting. Like, I think people can hear their hobby in here, like crocheting or something like that. No, like it can be anything you want it to be, and your version of self-care, your version of hobby, your version of all those sorts of things gets to be your own. Like people are always comparing to other people that oh, it needs to be it needs to look this way because this person does it this way. No, just do what challenge yourself a little bit, break it, break free from that box that we keep ourselves in, that comfort zone, and try something because you know what, the what's the worst you're gonna experience? You didn't like it, cool. You know that you didn't like it, then you try something else.

SPEAKER_01: 26:49

Yeah, even um, I've even heard people talk about like just going a different way to work. Like if you drive the same way to work every single time.

SPEAKER_00: 26:57

And that's a very unconscious pattern, by the way. That is a very unconscious pattern.

SPEAKER_01: 27:01

Go it go a different way for a change, change it up a little bit, go past a different coffee shop, get out of that routine to keep yourself on your toes. So for me, that's something that I do now. Like when someone told me that I just want to go different ways home, which is I don't know, it's just it sounds weird, but it's sort of like explaining.

SPEAKER_00: 27:18

It just changes the scenery and also it's it's that so our unconscious mind will always revert to the path of least resistance, meaning we'll always just go the way that seems easier. So then we're creating different neural pathways by doing things that are a bit different to what we're normally used to doing, and you know, you may sound minuscule taking a different path home, but how do you not know? You might see a really beautiful mural, or you might I don't know, you it might be faster to get home that way. You might see a new restaurant that you want to try, like you don't know what's gonna come up on that drive home. There's so many different things, and I think unless you're open to transforming your mindset in some way, shape, or form, you're not gonna benefit from these little changes. You're not gonna be, you're not gonna take, so for example, like I'm very much an optimistic person. So there's people that have been around me in the past who they're like could be a bit negative or damp, and it's like, oh, that's actually an issue for you. Like I would, I never would have thought of it being that way. So unless you're open, and it can take time, like it takes time, and it really takes some training in your mind. But life gets so much better when you start to be grateful for what you've already got and just start to notice, like, yeah, okay, life may be crappy sometimes. Life is gonna life, let's be real. However, it's how you perceive and how like how you perceive that moment, what you do with that, yeah, allow yourself to feel crappy for a little bit, but move. Don't sit in your shit, and this is what we say don't sit in your shit for longer than you need to, because you're only gonna dwell on it. You're wasting time, energy, your resources sitting in a problem that could have been resolved in two seconds if you just took action.

SPEAKER_01: 28:54

Yeah, and and going bringing that to the workplace where the problem lies is that if you are having a real negative day with clients or whatever it might be, and you're working from home, the fact that you are not around to others to be able to quickly across the table just go, oh, like what do you reckon of this, or even just venting, like, oh my god, that guy was an idiot or whatever. That's actually, I find a bit of a big problem. So I think if you do work from home, really try and get in the office as much as you can so that you are around people where that you can vent, you can bounce really quickly because otherwise you sit on the phone and calling someone, hey, I just went like experience this.

SPEAKER_00: 29:34

Do you have a second to talk through it? Because we often will internalize things so much. Or if you don't have someone to ring at that time, get up and go for a quick 10-minute walk. Like shift that energy. Movement is great for shifting energy. And as although sometimes we feel like I don't want to actually like I feel like really yucky right now, I don't want to do that, force yourself because energy can't be created nor destroyed, only transformed. And we ultimately hold that power in transforming it in whatever way that could be. Venting to a friend, if you're in the office, chatting to a colleague, or getting up and quickly, even if you're shaking your body off, like literally shaking your limbs off. Right, let's start again. Or putting on music. Music's a great anchor. I find I've got music on all the time, just to keep your mind going and not over in like overthinking things and just letting yourself enjoy the moment as well. I find that often helps with chaos in the workplace. Depends what type of environment you're in at work, like if you can have music on or even in an airpod, just great, nobody knows. But it's allowing your mind to keep going in those moments that may feel a bit chaotic.

SPEAKER_01: 30:35

Yeah, 100%. I'm I'm lucky. I my partner, Liz, he is very sort of in tune with it. And I'm generally a positive person, but at the start of the year, I had a whole heap of hits during January, and I remember it was hit after hit after hit. And he did turn to me and he goes, You need to snap out of this. He goes, Because all you were seeing is negative now. He goes, and he made me tell him one good. Thing that happened each day because I just automatically was like, Oh my god, this happened, this happened. And so to have somebody next to you who says keeping you accountable out of it, like that isn't all you were seeing was really, really important. So finding someone, like I'm not a huge fan of friends that always just pat you on the back and say, Good job, good job, poor thing. I need people around me that say pull your head in, snap out of that mood. They're gonna be honest with you. They need to be honest with you. And I think that's a maybe a really good self-reflection that people could have is do they have someone around them that is that person for them? And and making sure you do, because like I said, I don't want people supporting every single move I do. I mean, obviously, having people support you is great, but I need to have one or two that pull me aside when I need to. And if you don't have that person in your life, I wouldn't say to you, you need to do a big self-reflection. Do you not have them in your life because you're choosing not to have them because you're worried that they aren't going to do it?

SPEAKER_00: 32:02

You also may not want to hear the truth that they're going to tell you. And this is the thing, and this is often why clients will invest in themselves, which is great, to have somebody external to their life that isn't involved in what's going on for them. It's more so somebody's external, they're not in that tunnel vision of what the person's experiencing. And having me tell them pretty much, I'm your no bullshit bestie, I'm gonna tell you where essentially you're fucked up and you may need to take a different step. However, it's always from the biggest place of love. Because, like you said, if you've got people coddling you all the time and telling you doing amazing, how are you ever gonna grow? Even though you may have done something really shitty and someone's like, oh no, it's fine, don't worry about it. At the end of the day, you need people, and if you don't have those people in your life, then invest in a mentor or somebody that's gonna help you because this is where growth comes from. Like, you're not gonna grow if you're not seeing where the cracks are, because we need to essentially cement over those cracks and move forward, not sit there and overanalyze or let people tell you it's okay, darling. Like, no, it doesn't work that way. And I feel like people are almost afraid to say things in case it offends the other person. It also depends on what type of relationship you have with people. That's why sometimes I feel like people investing in somebody who's external to their circle does support them because they're like, well, actually, I'm not I'm not worried about offending you because I know what I'm saying is coming from a great place, and I can already see the 10 steps ahead, whereas right now you're stuck in the mud, you know. So sometimes you need to analyze where you're at with the connections. And another thing that just came up in my head was everything's happening for you, not to you. So this is a great one to apply in the workplace. Why did that happen? Where do we need to go with that? And how do we need to break that apart? So, you know, often people are like, oh, very much victim, victim mindset, victim playing, or like that tenant was shit. They were horrible to me, they were yelling at me, but maybe your response wasn't as respectful as it could have been, right? So you need to pull apart where is this because everybody is a mirror, right? I'm holding up a mirror for you. There's probably things in me that you're like, oh my God, she does that so amazing. When really you need to realize that you're seeing that in me because it's within you. So we trigger people, we mirror back to them. Perception is projection. And that's a great one to apply in the workplace, especially in the work that you guys do, is every person that encounter you encounter in this job, in this role, it has for a reason. And every scenario and situation that's come up, whether it be a bit more negative or a bit more positive, is for you to learn from it. So always remembering that everything is happening for you and not to you, takes you out of that victimship and allows you to take ownership of what's happening, even with the shittier situations. Sometimes we're like, I don't know, like that shouldn't have happened for me. That was really bad. Okay, but let's break it down. What different elements came from that? What triggered you out of that? What sort of emotions did you feel? Like there is so much more to it. Again, being human beings, we are not robots, we're not made to just sit there and that's it, not actually process what's happening for us.

SPEAKER_01: 34:57

And it's funny because most times when something bad might have happened to you, then in you know, three months or six months, you go, I'm so glad that happened because it's very common, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00: 35:09

Very common. And you know, it it's a part of the learning journey. And this is why wellness and careers or businesses, workplaces need to combine or need to go hand in hand. Because if let's say if you've got a leader that's not very what much inclined in this way, how do you expect your employees or your colleagues, the ones that are under you, to then perform if they're having somebody that may be a little bit more negative, a little bit more, you know, not so open to a different perspective or taking on that constructive criticism. So I feel like workplaces, I very much do get a thrill out of helping workplaces in that sense because you're only as good as your leader, like you're only as good as your leader, and though what you're role modeling, you need to role model that excellence for your colleagues or for your teammates, because how do you expect them to move with that same integrity if you're not demonstrating it either?

SPEAKER_01: 35:59

Yeah, totally. So yeah, I mean, ultimately, I guess like what hopefully the audience is hearing from today is that while like, you know, breath work and self-care and all of that might be seen, or you might have the perception that it's you know, it's woo-hoo and it's this and it's that, it it's it is so relevant to you and your clients, how you show up for your team, how you show up for your clients. If there is a bad situation and you have reacted in a way or a tenants reacted with you in a way, you know, having the ability to self-reflect and go, how did I contribute to this? And what could I do next time? Even just that self-accountability, if you can get that out of, you know, or out of the, you know, the the confidence and your nervous system being in a relaxed, you know, even a move with so much more confidence when your nervous system is regulated, because think about it.

SPEAKER_00: 36:51

You're feeling frazzled all the time or quite anxious or whatever it may be. How can you be confident like that? You can't you physically can't, like it goes against what you're trying to do. You're feeling anxious, which then means you're probably doubting yourself, which means you probably don't have much self-belief. You're then questioning your actions. There's no confidence in that.

SPEAKER_01: 37:08

No, and and things like breath work can help you get to that. So I guess, yeah, if you new to it, if you haven't explored it, if you are in W Way, then Alyssa from Ascender is a great option. And I know that you do one-on-ones as well, which is what someone might feel better doing if they don't want to do it as a group, but just be assured that if it's a if you do sort of have a group session and you're worried about something, having a quiet word to you to say, you know, Alyssa, I'm a bit worried about this.

SPEAKER_00: 37:44

No, like you go into it, obviously, there's a little bit of a health deck that you feel at first. So we then know that we are able to support you to the best of our capability. Raquel and I will then assess your health decks, making sure that health is great. But anything that's happened in your life, you don't have to tell us if you don't want to. Like you can just come in as the person, do what we facilitate, and then leave. Like nobody has to talk about anything if you don't want to. And you get to sit with that experience yourself. We do often have a circle at the end for the people that want to share their experience, but that doesn't mean you have to tell us what happened to you 20 years ago as a child. Like, none of that has to happen. So if that's something that's putting a restraint on you trying this type of modality, just know that you actually don't have to disclose anything if you don't want to. And with time, the more that you do breath work, the more that actually comes up for you, the more you release, therefore, the better you feel. It's a beautiful flow-on effect. But I just want people to know you don't have to come in and tell us your whole life story, you don't have to tell us anything at all. As long as we know that you're healthy and there's no serious conditions, then we're able to support you the best we can.

SPEAKER_01: 38:48

Yeah, love that. I think that that's going to clear up lots of questions that people have and hopefully um get them to really realize the direct link to having happy workplaces, happy teams, happy clients. So I hope I can't wait for people to sort of meet you. Like I said, we're doing some more work together and bringing the conversation more into the industry, which will have a beautiful ripple effect, not only with property managers and business owners, but their families and their friends that are going to reap the benefits as well, which is what I'm I love about it all. Um, I appreciate your time and and yeah, look forward to seeing your face a lot more with a few things. And if anyone wants to reach out to Alyssa, um I'll have her contact details available. And she um has a great uh Instagram that you can go follow Instagram as well, Shantin. That you can go follow as well. What's the Instagram handle that's best? It's Ascender, full stop breathwork, full stop wellness. Beautiful, excellent. So um go reach out and um give them a follow and see what it's all about. And any questions, reach out to her or me and keep an eye out for any retreats that we've got because they will be a great experience for you to um to come along and uh and do that in a in a beautiful setting with other property managers. So thank you for your time, Alyssa, and we'll speak to you soon.